Happy Father's Day.

I miss my Dad. I can say it a billion times in a day and it still doesn't change the fact that he's gone. And to all that say he's not really gone I say I can't really have a deep conversation with him, ask him advice and get an actual answer, have him pull me into a deep and warm hug.

I miss him everyday; no more or no less than I do on Father's Day.  We spent the day celebrating my husband; church together, dinner out, and a few interesting kid gifts to celebrate his art of parenting with style. We've been blessed with a gorgeous day weather-wise so we could spend part of the day outdoors, basking in the sunshine.

My husband had a good long chat with his dad, who is an amazing father and grandfather and I'm grateful we have him in our lives but it's that small act of making the phone call that I miss today.  I love you dad.  I wish you were still here.

You would be amazed at how Kaylee has grown into this amazing women off doing her own thing, creating stories of her own. You would be proud of her writing talent.  You would love to see Tristan's big smile and his off-beat, unique look at the world.  You would be surprised at the struggle he is going through finding what he wants to do with his life.  He would love your authentic questions and talent with drawing people in to your circle. He would have a good friend and trusted advisor in you. Groovy Girl would make you smile while you watched her dance, sing, and general entertain those around her.  Her joyful personality would make you proud even as she enters these snippy teen years. It would force you to reminisce about someone else you knew who got a little fiesty in their teen years.  You would do it with humor and grace.

Thank you for all the times you made me feel special Dad.  The notes, the backgammon games, the shoulder rubs, and the laughter.  You made my day many times and I wish you were still here to share our daily lives and since you are not I will make due with my memories.

Happy Father's Day. Hug them while you have them.  So if you've made it through the day without calling or talking to your dad-that's all it takes, one phone call. Go do it.