Thursday, December 2, 2021

Friendship and family

Friendship is a gift. Sometimes you meet people in your life that become family. So it was when I met my friend Jennifer in Colorado. We connected over drinks and had much to talk about. We shared stories especially about our mothers, their odd habits and antiquated ideas,  and we’ve remained friends for 30 years. We’ve had one major squabble and it took us awhile to come back to each other but we did because we still saw value in our connection. I think of her as one of my sisters. 

With friends and family there is a certain amount of grace you have to hold in your heart to move on and realize how important someone is in your life. I wished I could have remained in Denver so we could raise our children together.  I was called back to the Midwest for family matters and never found my way back to the mountains. Thankfully we both stayed in touch over the years through long phone calls. 

Sometimes family members become friends and that is an amazing bond. Even though I'm still the mama I see the relationship with my children take on a very different role that is both family and friendship. They don't want my help as much as a parent but more as a listener or occasional adviser. I've learned to let them come to me through phone calls and to take a step back. I want to have a lifelong relationship with them, where we are able to be there for each other. It takes work as all good partnerships do. Part of that is seeing them as fully capable adults knowing you had a small hand in that.  

We should try and treat all the people we care deeply about with a sense of family, bonded through mutual respect. Even if we don’t always agree with them. Be as kind as you can. 

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