Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Showing UP: a love letter

 I love the three children that grew up in our house together. I tried my best to show up and be a good mama. It didn't happen every day or every moment but I hope my children remember times that I was there for them, that I supported and encouraged them. All three are adults now off in the world doing their own things. 

Kaylee, the oldest of the three and my stepdaughter, produces a podcast, Heavyweight, for Gimlet Media and she lives in Brooklyn, NY. She's been stuck in NY throughout the pandemic learning to live there without the restaurants and live theatre that brought her great joy in previous years. 

Tristan, my first born but middle in our family, manages the McGrath Kia & Hyundai dealership in Hiawatha, IA. He finished a degree in Political Science at the U of I two winters ago and loves working with cars.

Japhy, my youngest and better known here as Groovy Girl, is in her freshman year at U of I in Iowa City. She is learning to navigate college life through a pandemic with virtual classes and a very different dorm life than expected. 

All three children enjoy spending time together, and I hope will continue to seek each other throughout their adult lives. After a few ups and downs with each child I'm most interested in their happiness. I hope they find good life partners who bring out the best in each other. I hope they enjoy their work and lead socially responsible lives. 

I've reflected back recently on my talents as a parent and I realized I am good at cuddling and we spent hours curled up reading or talking together. This makes me a great emotional support animal: you can bring me anywhere. I'm also a pretty good personal chef.  My kids have a wide variety of food they eat and don't eat.  Kaylee eats chicken but not red meat, Tristan went from begging for meat in our mostly vegetarian diet when he was a middle school student and is now a fully committed vegan. Japhy eats a wide variety and loves to cook but learned this summer that she is allergic to eating tomatoes after she did the elimination diet. She has had digestion problems throughout high school and we can't seem to find all the culprits.

I am there for them when they need food or drink-most of the time. I've faltered a few times. In my beginning stages of learning to cook vegan I had some rough patches but as we usually do- we made it to the other side. Forgive me if I can't remember who likes apples, kiwi, cranberries, or extra cheese! I love all three of these amazing adult children with all their unique personalities. I know they will show up for me as well. The empty nest feels strange but I'm happy to share these three humans with the world. 

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