My mama

Judith Ann Cherry

January 15, 1939 - March 17, 2023

Judy Cherry, 84, of Waverly, IA, passed peacefully Friday, March 17, 2023 at the Cedar Valley Hospice, Waterloo. Judy struggled with a blood disorder called myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS) for many years, eventually succumbing to it. She lived longer than expected and the extra time allowed her to enjoy many visits from and amazing meals with family and friends. 

The daughter of Lavera Ann (Westendorf) and Ewald Bruch, Judy was born January 15, 1939 in Waterloo, IA. She graduated from East High School in 1957 and attended nursing school for one year at Coe College before choosing a different path. She married Roger Matz on April 12, 1958 and together they had four children: Mike, Michelle, Chris and Jason.  On December 31, 1998, Judy married James Cherry in Cedar Falls and the couple made their home in Ventura and then Waverly. 

Judy completed her education at Minnesota State University, Mankato and had many life roles: she was a mom, a dreamer, a traveler, a wife, a friend, a businesswoman. She struck people with her fun-loving and eccentric personality.  

Judy began her professional career as a teacher in Sleepy Eye, MN before helping her husband Roger acquire and manage small newspapers including The Redfield Press and The Spirit Lake Beacon. Judy later owned and operated the Okoboji Grill, in Okoboji, IA where she especially enjoyed working with the young staff. Judy loved good food, travel, boating Minnesota lakes and rivers, reading books and magazines, games, movies, and documentaries. She loved and cared for many family dogs. Judy gardened all her life and in recent years grew beautiful tomatoes that she shared freely. 

She was a gourmet home chef and loved cooking meals from the many cookbooks collected on her travels around the country and to Europe.  Passing a love of good food to her children, Judy in later years appreciated watching us cook for her while talking and enjoying a glass of wine. Dining with family and friends was one of Judy’s greatest joys. 

Judy was a wonderful grandmother and enjoyed caring for young grandchildren, taking them on adventures and outings and shuttling them to ski, dance, soccer, baseball, and hockey. She was a sharp and competitive Spite and Malice player and especially loved teaching it and playing it with her grandchildren. All the better when she won!

Young people enjoyed talking with Judy and she loved getting to know people and was compassionate in her views of the world.  She was interested in politics and things that were happening in the world around her. 

Surviving are her husband of 24 years, Jim Cherry of Waverly; her children Mike (Sally Shuffield) Matz, of Durango, CO; Michelle (Greg) Holt, of Cedar Falls; Chris (Jennifer Reynolds) Matz, of Denver, CO and Jason (Stephanie) Matz, of Deephaven, MN; her grandchildren: Carson, Celia, Kaylee, Tristan, Japhy, Henry, Sawyer, Wynn, Rider, Marin, Jasper, and Beckett; her step-children Mike (Audra) Cherry, Dana (Mark) Watson, and Kim (Tony Green) Cherry; her step-grandchildren Rebecca, Ryan, Leah, Tyler, Nate, Jacob, and Rolie; and her 6 step-great grandchildren as well as many good friends. 

Preceding her in death are her first husband, Roger, and brothers Robert and Wayne. 

Services will be at Redeemer Lutheran Church in Waverly at 2:00 pm on Friday, March 24. In lieu of flowers, donations to the Cedar Valley Hospice would be appreciated. 

Post Note: Two of my siblings and I wrote, rewrote and edited this tribute to my mom and then find out that obituaries are the. main means for newspaper cash flow! I wanted to share the whole thing with everyone because an edited version will appear in local papers.  She lived a full and happy life.  Cheers!

Collective Wisdom

March is known for several holidays like St. Patrick's Day and Lent, Spring Break in some places but I appreciate  March for Women's History. Collective Wisdom; Lessons, Inspiration, and Advice from women over 50 by Grace Bonney.  My friend Verda gifted this to me on my birthday last year and I've still not made it through the whole collection.  What I love most is to browse through and read the quotes from all the profiles. 

Like Betty Reid Soskin, 100-year-old from California and the oldest National Park Ranger in the U.S. who says:  

"I have been many women. They come and they go, and some of them I would have loved to have stayed with me longer, but the fact that I have been all those things has made life, for me, very rich."

and JoAni Johnson, a 69-year-old model from New York, NY who says: "When you've been around the sun so many times and have a variety of experiences and you're able to stay standing - that's resilience."

or Julia Alvarez, a 71-year-old Dominican American poet and author: "I feel that I'm a bead in the necklace of the generations." 

or Mahboubeh Abbasgholizadeh, a 63-year-old Iranian journalist who shares this: 

"One of the most amazing things in our lives, regardless of how we describe our sexuality or gender identity, is the power of motherhood. And by that, I mean the power of nurturing: nurturing other humans, I think everyone has the ability to do this in some form, and it can be so empowering. To care for others and use our strengh to lift up others."

I am inspired every time I open up the pages of this book and find something new to read. I connect with the women, their journeys, and message. We know and herald our famous women but many of these profiles are about women making a difference in their families and communities. I am someone who is always open to ideas and am in constant motion to learn more.  Whether you have this book or not, find an inspiring story to read about Seneca Falls, or any part of women's history to help us bridge the gap of what we are dealing with today. We need more brave souls like Lucy Stone.

Indulgence

I had a 60-min massage last Saturday and it was wonderful!  I booked it at the beginning of the month just as a little love-myself treat for February and I'm so glad I followed through. It was cold in the morning but the sun was out. I bundled up in a comfy sweater and my favorite pair of joggers because you need to be comfortable and warm before and after. I also lugged my water bottle with me.  The last massage I had was soon after surgery but because of my incision it was more like a massage for a pregnant person. I was excited to return for a more regular experience. Treating myself to this is a big deal and one I appreciate. My friend Greg at Prairie Yogi Massage is worth it - because of his yoga experience he knows a lot about the body and he moved my limbs around a lot to help stretch areas that he worked on. I plan to try to go every few months to help stay in tune. 

My commitment to treating myself  well also falls under my love for yoga and healthy eating. I want to grow older gracefully. I always want to be able to sit on the floor, get back up, to touch my toes, and to take long walks. I don’t necessarily do yoga as exercise but more to keep flexibility. 

I'm adding more vitamins to my morning regiment and took my stepmother's suggestion to try this Lions Mane mushroom extract supplement to help with my memory. Some days I feel like I still have surgery brain when I call a student by the wrong name or can't remember the name of something but surgery was 9 months ago so I think it is more than that.  

Right now we need to take care of ourselves to take care of each other. We have a long winding road ahead of us.  The state of IA, and many other states, want to take away my ability to do my job as a teacher-librarian. They want to let a group of concerned parents choose the books. And that’s just one issue; we have so many others being debated. I'm worried, yes, but in a world trying to remove our wings I am making sure to be ready for anything.  I need self care more than ever as a woman, as an educator, as a human alive at this time. 

Do what makes you feel healthy and whole: fresh flowers, dessert, therapy, more time with friends, outside in nature, and be ready for the storm that’s coming. 

Old Age

I stayed with my mom for the last week and it was an experience. It's odd to be the one in charge, like a parent to your parent.  She needs a lot of help getting around the house and with meals.  She sits on this old love seat for most of the day watching lots of PBS. She feels depressed and ready to die.  As her daughter it's hard to hear her say these things because I'm afraid to have her die. On the other hand realistically she is exhausted and tired of feeling like crap because of her MDS  diagnosis.  It's stolen some good years away from her; like her body and her abilities look more like she's a fragile 100 year old human. 

During the week she blew up about something little more than once and that was hard to deal with for me. Truthfully she's always let her temper get the best of her but this seemed like more. Is it because she's in pain or is it just getting older? She's very stuck in her ways and this is getting worse as the days go by. She likes to wear certain shirts and sweaters, she likes her things set up on the sofa seat next to her, and she likes to be set up in bed exactly the same every night. She still loves to eat really good food even if it's super small portions. She loves her coffee in the morning. This week we had pasta with shrimp, fresh fried eggs, lovely little salads, and an un-spicy chili.  We had a small glass of champagne while we played cards to celebrate our last night together. 

I'm glad I have this time with her and hope she can make it until Spring. She loves the flowers, the sunshine, and sitting on a pretty patio. It’s hard watching your parent age and I have a front row seat. The week exhausted me - I was sleeping on a sofa-and listening to her cough and gasp all night. She was cranky with me but overall a good week together. I know I'll appreciate it down the road. 

Cooking with Love

 

One of my favorite things is to make food whether it be just for me or for friends here for dinner.  I like both the complicated and the uncomplicated recipes.  My mother and grandmother loved to cook. When I lived with my grandmother she would chide me if I didn't offer to make visitors like my uncles a sandwich.  My young brain thought "they are grown ass men; they can get their own sandwiches" and now while I still agree with that sentiment I do love to welcome people into my home with a good meal. 

My husband's job changed over the last month and we've been able to spend time with friends more in the evening because he's not in rehearsal every night. I've made a handful of great recipes that you might like.

I made this delicious Chicken Korma recipe from Tea for Turmeric a few weeks ago and it was a huge hit.  I'm technically. not a meat eater but if I can find it from a local farm then I'm okay with it. I could have substituted tofu but my husband eats many vegetarian meals for me so I decided to switch it up. He loves Indian food and he liked this dish. I served it with a side of brown rice and some roti bread. 

One night  in January I had some women friends over to play cards and I made this black bean soup from Cookie + Kate with fresh bread. It was delicious and easy and I've now made it two more times. I've really stepped into the Blue Zones idea of eating beans or lentils as much as I can. The first time I made this I used the 4 cans of beans it calls for but for the second time I actually cooked dried black beans in my slow cooker while I was laboring away at school.  It was worth it to make my own for the recipe but the cans definitely made the recipe quicker. I served this with lots of toppings like avocado, green onions, crumbled feta cheese, blue chips, and sour cream. 

Tonight I made a stir-fry that was very flavorful. I was hungry for tofu and quinoa so I Googled those two ingredients and came up with Sesame Tofu Quinoa Bowl from The Almond Eater.  I swapped the broccoli for cauliflower and adding in edamame. We had broccoli last night with some homemade mac and cheese. Also because I don't like plastic bags I used a bowl with a lid to marinate the tofu with the Tamari sauce.  It worked out great and we ate with chopsticks in front of the fire while we watched Triangle of Sadness~highly recommend the movie as well!

Good food feeds your soul! Bon Appetit! 

Oh, I forgot dessert! I'm attempting to step away from sugar but sometimes you just need a good dessert to share with friends. This S'more recipe is a perfect winter treat-I served it with a little cup of Bailey's. 

Angst

Going through my mother's boxes I located a folder of my college papers. Looking through the pages I was struck by the fact that they were all hand typed sometimes more than once as I edited. I thought about all the work I put into those papers, not just the typing but the thought process and the creativity. One of the papers was a typed final essay with 7 different questions about Thomas Hardy's Far From the Maddening Crowd. I was struck by how easy having a computer makes all that writing a little bit different. A little easier to edit. And I thought...kids have it so easy these days.

And then I really thought about that statement and I quickly amended it in my head. We've created chaos for our children.  Gaming and social media, screen time and streaming or binging series after series. We've let them grow up too fast. Kids have far less time for just being kids; playing outside until dark kind of time. Activities keep them busy like soccer and basketball but competition is different than just play. I'm not going to get all the way on top of this soap box but I worry about our youngest demographic. 

Picking up my phone today I had an email concerning a new Iowa Senate bill being presented that would restrict schools from teaching social emotional learning. People in favor of the bill believe the ridiculous notion that we are trying to indoctrinate students into a specific LGBTQ lifestyle or critical race theory because we as educators want to help them manage their emotions.  And don't get me started on House File 8-removing any instruction about gender identity or all that Ron DeSantis is attempting in Florida. It's beyond heartbreaking as a teacher. Because we want kids to be themselves. Promoting empathy and kindness or teaching real history as a teacher should not make us criminals. 

I know the world is different than the 1970's and 80's when I did most of my growing up yet common human decency should still be prevalent. I fear in today's Republicans a return to a world long ago, one where anything different was the enemy. I read a picture book to young students in the library about a young girl wearing a Hijab as she begins 6th grade-it doesn't mean that I'm promoting the Muslim religion. So much to navigate in these waters. Our public schools are doing a great job everyday, taking care of all the students that we have and SEL has been a great help for all of us. With all that kids have to manage today helping them to understand themselves more shouldn't be threatening.

Angst.

Demon Copperhead

"First, I got myself born. A decent crowd was on hand to watch, and they've always given me that much: the worst of the job was up to me, my mother being let's just say out of it." 

Barbara Kingsolver's opening line is a great introduction to Demon, our young hero, who will become part of the reader's heart and soul. It's a magnificent tale of heartache, addiction, family, and poverty set in the Appalachia Mountains. From the very beginning Demon is burdened with tough choices. His mother is young and grieving over Demon's dead father.  He and is mother occupy a doublewide trailer near another family, the Peggot's who are raising their grandson because his mother is in jail. He loses important parts of his family and gains others. He shows us the hardship of foster care. This is your cast of characters: people down on their luck trying to do their best but often failing in an area of our country that has been torn apart.  I loved the book so much I could start the first page again and as I finished the last paragraph I shed some tears. 

I'm glad I finished the book when I did because I was able to devote a good amount of time to it even reading a few pages before school and during lunch. I'm feeling overwhelmed with a too long to-do list and the knowledge that I'm on too many committees.  I'm on rotation this year for observation and need to complete my professional portfolio by March 1st. I have a book fair coming my way in March. I have a district-wide tech conference and planning for our school's literacy night both in February.  Beyond that I'm on our district's equity committee,  and our teacher's association, as well as daily lesson planning.  I spent most of my Sunday planning for Black History Month and a connected research project for 3rd-6th graders.  Whew. I need a night off.  

On the relaxing side I have kept up almost daily with Adriene's January yoga challenge and that keeps me together most days.  I'm headed there now to connect and wind down for the night. 

Be well.

Best of Elementary Fiction 2022

 

As a reader for the Iowa Children's Choice Award committee I am pushed to read quite a few interesting elementary chapter books. This year 9 took me by surprise and worth passing on to you.

1. Alone by Megan E. Freeman (2021) : This is a fabulous dystopian novel in verse about young Maddie who finds herself completely alone after a secret sleepover. She learns to survive on her own with only George, her neighbor's Rottweiler, as her only companion.

2. The Mighty Heart of Sunny St. James by Ashley Herring Blake (2019) : This was the perfect year for me to read this sweet novel about Sunny and how her heart transplant pushes her to figure out much about her life. 

3. Born Behind Bars by Padma Venkatraman (2021) : Kabir has been in jail his whole life with his mother who was convicted of a crime she didn't commit. A new ruling pushes Kabir into an unknown world for him and he needs to learn to survive the streets of India on his own. 

4. Violets are Blue by Barbara Dee (2021) : Wren is dealing with divorced parents, a new stepmother, and trying to fit into a new school. She finds her niche helping out with makeup for a theatre production as her mother struggles with this new life without her husband. 

5. Maya and the Robot by Eve L. Ewing (2021) : Maya is nervous about moving up to 5th grade and how her school life will go with her two best friends in a different class.  When she discovers a forgotten robot her life takes off in a new direction. 

6. Red, White, and Whole by Rajani LaRocca (2021) : Reha is tied between two worlds-school where she navigates being the only Indian American student and home where her parents have certain expectations for her.  She doesn't feel connected to her amma until Reha discovers that her mother is sick. 

7. Where We Used to Roam by Jenn Bishop (2021) : At the beginning of Emma's 6th grade year, just as she's making cool artsy friends, her brother is injured in a football game which sends their family on a whirlwind year. 

8. The Elephant in the Room by Holly Goldberg Sloane (2021) : I love Sloane's writing and this one was no exception. Sila's mother travels to Turkey to fix an immigration issue  and has been gone for a long time. Sila and her father have to learn to live on their own and the two discover quite a bit about each other with a few new friends. 

9. 365 Days to Alaska by Cathy Carr (2021) : Rigel loves her life off the grid in the Alaskan wilderness until her parents get divorced and she has to move to Connecticut with her mother and siblings. Life is very different in her new surroundings as she learns to deal with city life, other people, and her father's betrayal. 

While the list is numbered it isn't in any particular order because each of these chapter books stand on their own with different stories to tell. I think fiction books help young people learn something new and unique about other people and cultures. Give any of these books a try and let me know what you think. 

My 2022 Adult Favorites

 

So many good books this year. I'm sure I say that every year but last year I only picked 6 favorites and this year I have 12. I also read more this year than last which is good thing. Enjoy my brief descriptions and let me know if you enjoyed any of these as well.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin (2022) : I liked The Storied Life of AJ Fikry which prompted me to read more of her writing. This one is by far my favorite book of the year. Snappy characters combined with a very interesting story line about gaming and gamers but really it's about life, love, and deep friendship. 

The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles (2021): I enjoyed A Gentleman in Moscow and heard all the hype about this and it followed through. Emmett Watson's story will stick with you. Told from multiple points of view the tale takes shape just over 10 days. Fascinating.

The Seed Keeper by Diane Wilson (2021) : This book really took me by surprise. I read it for book club and coming from the small publishing house of Milkweed Editions I was happily immersed in the story of Rosalie Iron Wing in the past and the present. I turned around and bought several copies straight from Milkweed to give as gifts. 

The Sentence by Louise Erdrich (2021) : I'm a huge fan of everything Erdrich writes and this one told the story of the pandemic and George Floyd's murder through the main character Tookie's eyes. As an ex-convict for a bizarre crime she is out and enjoying somewhat of a good life when the world seems to turn upside down. Intense.

Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid (2022) : I was lucky enough to receive a copy of this through NetGalley and I read it fast on my iPad, which is unusual for me as I'm more of a book in hand person. I'm not even a tennis fan but Carrie is an electric character and her life struggles as a champion tennis player were intriguing. Through all the ups and downs she is a survivor and you root for her to find happiness. I like TJR's writing skills and Daisy Jones and the Six is still one of my all-time favorite stories. 

Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler (1993) : This author has been swirling around my radar for awhile and I just hadn't taken the time to read her many books. The story was hard to read because there is suffering but hope is ever present because Lauren Olamina is a survivor, always looking ahead to how she feels and the next path to take. Reading this book starts me on a journey to finish Lauren's story and to read Kindred. 

Nightcrawling by Leila Motley (2022) : Another tough story with an amazing young hero in Kiara as she fights for some kind of life in Oakland, CA. She is constantly chasing a way to make money to take care of her brother and her young neighbor and to stay in the apartment. She battles landlords and sleazy cops and yet things never really get better.  A beautifully written debut novel.

A Flicker in the Dark by Stacy Willingham (2022) : I heard about this on The Readheads podcast and it sounded like a perfect crime novel for me; not too scary but lots of twists and turns. I tend to be very picky about this genre and don't like it when pieces are left hanging. This was intense without scaring me and had plenty of interesting connections.

Once There Were Wolves by Charlotte McConaghy (2021) : Wow! This was another book club choice that amazed me with it's rich story of Inti Flynn and her sister. Inti arrives in Scotland to help a team reintroduce wolves into the area and she has a tough time fitting in with the town characters and she finds herself mixed up in a few local problems. She is a character that will stick with me plus I loved the wolf angle. Her website lists a new book, Migrations, that looks just as appealing. 

Young Jane Young by Gabrielle Zevin (2017) : Second book by Zevin on my list! I read this one because I'd heard she had a new one coming out-Tomorrow and Tomorrow...- and I wanted to read something else by her first. This one, told from 5 female perspectives, is one of feminism, forgiveness, and family. Aviva's story is about making amends and the transformative power of new beginnings. Embeth Levin, the congressman's wife, tells her story of constant betrayal with such honesty that I ended up loving her even as she snaps at those around her. Everyone is carrying a heavy weight in this tale. 

Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell (2020) : I've read O'Farrell's This Must Be The Place which was also very interesting. Hamnet was unique in that she takes the story of William Shakespeare's family life with Agnes and his three children and shows how the story of Hamlet is born from the depths of grief. Just so interesting!

The Last Guest House by Megan Miranda (2019): This was another murder mystery about a small vacation town in Maine. I read it in 4 days because the characters of Sadie Loman, a wealthy summer resident and local Avery Greer are captivating when they connect and become friends. We quickly see the tragedy and learn more about each character and their families. This one, while compelling, did have one or two holes in the story but the overall feeling kept me turning pages. I have All The Missing Girls on my TBR pile. 

If you stuck with me to the end thank you! I've noticed that 10/12 books feature strong female characters.  My favorite conversation is always to find out what others are reading and which books you absolutely loved. Give me some suggestions. May 2023 be another great year of connecting, reading, and writing.