Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Feeling the blues, finding the joy

I know I’m not the only one but it still feels uncomfortable. I went to bed on Christmas night fighting all manner of demons. Did everyone get something they were excited about? Was there enough food? Was there enough joy and laughter? Our time together is very limited as a family and we had a new boyfriend in the mix. Did he enjoy his time with us? Was it all stimulating enough? Did we take them to cool places in town? Were we Covid-cautious enough for the New Yorkers? And the tree-oh, the tree was a whole thing! 

It’s hard to answer all these questions as you head off to sleep and truthfully you never know but here is what I do know: our bellies were full with good food, we laughed and played together and there was not one fight! People seemed happy with gifts they received and most importantly they seemed to enjoy the gift giving process as well. Even the son got on board with gift giving in real time. Last year he ordered everyone’s gifts Christmas Day and while that had its own thrill, this year he said it was important to see everyone’s faces as they opened gifts! There in is the gift worth opening-the spirit of simple giving.

I've worked to let my anxious feelings go over the last few days. It is what it is and I can see us laughing together especially over our online Jeopardy, the raucous sounds of lively foosball games rising from the basement, and the joy of sitting around the table together. One of my highlights was listening to Kaylee explain just how Christmas morning would go because we have a pattern, a flow to how our traditions unfold and that description was priceless. 

The new year is approaching and the children are once again scattered back to their homes but we will hold the Christmas of 2021 especially dear because we could be all together and we were happy for those days, sharing our memories and our lives. We say "cheers" for a healthy and hope-filled 2022. Find what makes you stay sane...

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